The first Friday the 13th of the year (which in 2018 is April) is National Blame Someone Else Day. It’s kind of a funny thing to have a National Day about, but there seems to be National Days for all the things these days.
People blame others (anyone else) for failures, and more than happily accept the accolades of success. Yes, it’s true, sometimes we have poor childhoods, bad bosses, or unhappy marriages:
- Every parent makes mistakes. Even the best of us. We screw up, we stumble, and we pick ourselves up and try again. We hope that when we do the best we can it’ll be enough. Sometimes, it isn’t. But, at one point the kid grows into an adult and even a parent themselves. Kids aren’t kids forever. Once you’re an adult stop blaming bad adult behavior on childhood. Take the lessons learned from the mistakes of your parents and make different mistakes instead. Because you won’t be perfect either.
- At work, not everyone is out to get you. If they are, you clearly need another job – because that sounds miserable. If you’re a poor fit for a job you can choose to gain the skills you need to become a better fit, or find a new job that more closely aligns to your skillset. Don’t blame all of those around you – nothing will burn your bridges faster, and if you do want to find another job no one will recommend the “blamer”.
- Marriage take two, with few exceptions there is enough blame to go around when the union fails. Honestly, sometimes there is no blame to go around. Growing apart is no one’s fault.
No one can make you happy or sad, unless you give them the power to control your emotions. While I can’t help what happens to me, I can control how I react to it and how much it impacts my feelings. Why is failure so hard to accept from ourselves and so easy to cast unto others? Even people we love very much. Why can’t we use our failures for a chance to grow and learn about ourselves and the world we live in? We grow much more in failure than we do in success. So, we should pause a moment and celebrate when we fail – because that means we tried, we learned, and we’ll do it better next time.
As an adult, I can’t blame my parents anymore.